Truly Human?
by Zamilon
Summary: After the trio has become human, can they ever really escape their natures when they've spent so long not being human? A depressing take on the ending.


**So I know this is a pretty depressing take on the end of the Series (sob), I personally believe that they are living in the Devil's dream, but this plot bunny hit me (in the shower...) and I just couldn't resist writing it. In this they aren't actually living in the Devil's dream, but I read somewhere that the original premise of the show was that it was an addict, a person with anger problems, and a person who has a phobia of going outside (I can't remember the technical term), and I just thought that this would be quite interesting to apply to our newly human trio. Sorry if you don't like it, but I don't really like happy endings.**

**Anyway review if you have anything to say about it please!**

_Truly Human?_

_Hal_

It's a normal day, not good not bad, when Hal decided to start smoking again, of course he had done it earlier in the Twentieth Century, but it used to set off his cravings for blood, so he quit the habit when he moved in with Leo. He had forgotten the heady feel of the nicotine rush and the pleasure it seemed to give to him. But soon it became worse and worse, and even though Alex told him to stop, before he became addicted, it just wasn't in his nature to stop for long.

Yet, it was wasn't just nicotine which was his vice, when he had become human the part of him that was good, and the part of him that was bad melded together. And whilst the good part of him didn't want to recreate the feel of the blood rush, that part of him that he hated most was what craved to feel the rush again. Of course he couldn't quite get a blood rush, since he was quite clearly human now, but that didn't mean there weren't a slew of other mind bending things he could do.

Alcohol, marijuana, LSD, cocaine, MDMA, heroin. He tried them all, going from drug to drug, secretly of course, but he couldn't push away the reckless part of him that just wished to self-destruct, to revel in decadence. Alex and Tom, they had noticed that there was something different about him, the train trips to Cardiff, the fact that he rarely used to exit his room some days.

When he becomes an addict to heroin it gets bad, they noticed- it was so obvious. It was the fact that he was spending the accumulated money of five centuries (the money that he still had) to spend to feed his addiction. Then when they make him stop, the withdrawals make him want to kill himself, just to make it end, to stop the feeling of want inside him; but he tries to remain strong, he detoxed off blood he can get off this, but he knows that there's always a chance of him going back. And he realised, that even though he was a human again, he could never escape the part of him that was a vampire.

_Tom_

Tom likes to think he's a nice guy, everybody likes him. He had good manners, he's respectful, he's kind. But there's one thing about Tom, and it is how angry he can get. He doesn't mean to, but sometimes it all goes black and he'll come out of it and there'll be someone crying, or the furniture will be messed up. And when his daughter sees him so angry he can't help but feel so ashamed.

It had started slowly, just getting annoyed at things, like the fact that the driver in front of him was going too slow, or that the TV Remote had gone missing. But soon it was comments which people made and it felt as if he wanted to go over to them and punch the living daylights out of them. Of course he didn't. Well, at first he didn't.

He couldn't help it if he was drunk when he beat up another guy, or when he almost chucked Hal out of the house, or when he frightened Alex so much that she almost called the police. It is just after one of these times that Tom realises that the wolf isn't really gone. Not metaphorically, he still changes from his normal self- it's just that now it's almost everyday and it feels like he doesn't know when it's happening. It's obvious to him, that after all those years of managing to release his anger just once a month, he couldn't deal with it when he didn't have the wolf being a part of him.

_Alex_

Alex feels scared almost all the time, not even scared. Just paranoid. Being a ghost she felt invincible, she was already dead, what else could they do to her. But now it was as if every single thing in the world was aimed against her. Walking outside she might get hit by a truck or she might trip over and split her head open. Using a knife to get toast out of the toaster she might get electrocuted, and maybe there were people to get her.

Maybe the devil wasn't dead, maybe it was all a dream, maybe she had gone into a coma when she was three and one day she was going to wake up and realise that this whole life wasn't real. In fact, she's so paranoid that she doesn't even see Hal's growing addiction before it's too late nor does she she Tom's outrageous anger before she's huddling in the corner trying to type 999 into the phone without him noticing.

She was just so afraid, she didn't know why, but after being dead, it was just so strange to be alive, to be human with all their faults and weaknesses. Of course she didn't want to be dead, and she didn't want to go back to the life that she had before she returned to the living. But at the same time, some small part of her felt that Tom and Hal would be safer if they weren't human, and she wouldn't have to lay in bed worrying about the world around her. Because even if the Devil did try and trap her in her own coffin, being a ghost meant she didn't have to worry about it all. In some ways she knew that she was never going to truly get the life that she had before back, that in some ways she would never be entirely human.


End file.
